Pure Drivel

So, my wonderful friend Art has just alerted me to another fantastic time-sink while I’m at work. GraphJam is a website with a simple premise (publish user-submitted graphs) that yields sometimes hilarious results (see below).

more graph humor and song chart memes

Fantastic.

Ahhhh… summer. Action movies take over the theaters, the rare blockbuster game is released, and summertime television series are back on.

Apparently the comic book industry has figured out they can make a shitload more money making movies than they can selling comic books. I’ve seen both Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk this summer, and there’s still The Dark Knight and The Spirit to go this year. Personally, I don’t understand why everyone orgasmed over Iron Man. I mean, it was decent, and Robert Downey, Jr., was pretty fantastic in it. But, I liked The Incredible Hulk more, even though the acting was overall worse than in Iron Man. I think it’s because the action sequences are a lot more intense, and that’s what I was looking for in my super hero movie. Plus, all the tie-ins to other Marvel properties are pretty awesome.

Plus, Wanted looks like it may be another of the popcorn-munching action movies that I’ve had such a penchant for this summer. Bonus: Angelina Jolie, who I’ve always found very hit or miss, looks quite hittable in this movie.

This year was a strange one for television due to the writer’s strike. We got a lackluster season finale for Scrubs as it (hopefully) prepares to move to ABC. The Battlestar Galactica finale was intense, but with regard to the statement in the ad campaigns that “All Will Be Revealed,” the writers really punked out. In fact, they didn’t reveal anything. And gods know the when the next season or half-season will be begin. Psych starts back up July 18 at 10/9C, which is my favorite summer show. It’s highly entertaining, and I’ve loved Dulé Hill since The West Wing.

As the focus of this blog, it’s only proper I mention some recent high-profile video game releases. Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots has garnered high praise across the board. The major criticism seems to be the extraodinarily long cutscenes. I have one word for the complainers: Xenosaga. Alone in the Dark and The Bourne Conspiracy were both games that I was anticipating, but both have scored much lower than I’d anticipated. A series of new maps was also included for free in the most recent PC patch for Call of Duty 4: MW. This breathed some welcome new life into the title. Xbox 360 gamers had access to these maps a while ago, but they had to pay extra for them. Chinatown is easily my favorite map of the bunch - moving in and out of all those buildings at high speed is a real rush, and due to the closed nature of the map, grenade and n00b tube spamming is kept to a minimum. Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precepice of Darkness was also recently released. All-in-all its a solid game, complete with all the humor you’d expect from Tycho and Gabe, and a great summer distraction. Another title that was pretty much under the radar for me has been getting solid reviews. Battlefield: Bad Company has landed some solid reviews, and I’m considering picking it up. I do wish it was coming out for PC, though.

I also recently wiped my iPhone clean of all music and resolved to put newer and less-frequently-listened-to music on in lieu of all the stuff I’ve been listening to since high school. Forever the Sickest Kids have won a place in my heart. If you’re into extremely catchy techno/emo hybrid, or techmo, as I will henceforth call it, they will win a place in yours as well. Also, I recently discovered a band called Elbow who apparently have been around since 1990. To me they’re a mix of Peter Gabriel and Radiohead. If you’re looking for something a little off the beaten path, be sure to check those guys out. I’ve also been giving Chevelle’s latest album Vena Sera a fair shake, and I’ve got to say I’m enjoying it, despite a chilly critical reception. It’s not brilliant, but it’s entertaining.

Finally, I’m just about finished reading through all of the Hitchiker’s Guide books for the second time in my life. I’ve got to tell you; they’re a lot funnier now than they were when I was 14.

Alright, those are the things I’m checking out entertainment-wise right now. What’re you guys into this summer?

Gamers and first-amendment activists everywhere should chalk this one up as a victory.

According to GamesIndustry.biz (and others), the Florida Bar has recommended that Jack Thompson, noted video game attack-dog be disbarred for 10 years for less than ethical practices during law suits against video game production/development companies and retailers.

Unfortunately, it seems that we aren’t through with this vendetta-obsessed distorter of the truth (read: LIAR). According to Game Politics, JT circulated an email which he claimed persons involved in the case acted illegally.

Under the subject line of SWEET! (GP: I kid you not), an e-mail circulated by Thompson this morning cites today’s Daily Business Review coverage of his case and reads, in part:

Because of the [DBR] article, which contains my entire Objections filing, I am now getting phone calls from highly respected people who are proving to me the criminal conduct of The Florida Bar… We are meeting with law enforcement officials about that. 
 
This is all wonderful.  Light is now being shone in some very dark places, and the Daily Business Review has assisted in that wonderfully.
 
I am now going to win this fight, by the grace of God and because of the First Amendment, most particularly the right to freedom of the press.  Certain Florida Bar officials need to hire criminal defense lawyers today.  The investigations are already underway.  And if you think I’m kidding, then you don’t know Jack.

Le sigh. This guy doesn’t know when to quit. Of course, if news outlets would stop legitimizing him by bringing him on to talk his nonsense, maybe we could get somewhere.

I would feel sorry for Jack if he weren’t so damn arrogant. The man is now going after the judge who ruled in his case and after Florida Supreme Court Justices on an alleged technicality with regard their state loyalty oaths. If that’s not a way to permanently destroy your legal career, I don’t know what is.

Even if he does somehow manage to have the trial judge removed, wouldn’t that just result in a mistrial? If so, don’t you think any future judge would be even more likely to find the man guilty?

He’s already recognized as a charlatan in the gaming community, and soon the rest of the world will see firsthand what we’ve been saying all along. Well, they would if the major news outlets would pick up the story. A search for Jack Thompson on CNN.com yielded no results on this story. FoxNews has also neglected to pick up Jack’s story, which is strange considering they’ve had him on the network a few times. Law.com was the only non-gaming outlet to pick up the story in a Google News search for Jack Thompson.

On a mostly unrelated note: Huzzah!

The thing I love about WP is that I can throw a new theme up pretty much whenever I want. This is going to be the new style for the site for the time being, at least.

Enjoy.

Two new system exclusives are set for release this week. These games are pretty much polar opposites, and they make for an interesting foil.

On the one hand we have Haze. Developed for the PS3 and published by Ubisoft, the game was in the news yesterday when it developer Free Radical confirmed it wouldn’t be running in true HD. Haze takes place in a dystopian society in the near-future (hrm, sounds familiar) where a soldier’s work is white-washed by the performance-enhancing substance pumped into his body through a specialized combat suit.

The game was essentially supposed to be an answer to a couple of huge Microsoft-platform-exclusive FPSes. Early review scores for the game indicate that it will fall far short of matching the achievements of Gears of War and BioShock though, as it currently has a rather average Metacritic score of 54. I haven’t played the game, and probably never will. But the general consensus seems to be that while other shooters like Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare and BioSock are taking steps to reinvent the wheel, so to speak, Haze is an exceptionally medicore shooter.

The Onion’s A.V. Club probably has the most cohesive conclusion about the game based on the reviews I read:

More narratively cohesive than the Halo trilogy, but less inventive and compelling than Resistance: Fall Of Man, Haze does finally give us a self-aware portrait of videogame soldiers, and a foil for all the head-butting, “boo-yah” behavior that’s been the norm for far too long in the medium. Too bad it’s paired with one of the more pedestrian FPS games to come along in recent years.

Clear on the other end of the spectrum we have Wii Fit, which brings exercise and playing video games together in some sort of unholy union. Thing is, critics are pretty impressed with it. And these are people who (sometimes) make a living of sitting motionless while consuming their media of choice.

Now, you should know by now I’m biased against the Wii for ushering in an unprecedented age of shovelware and minigame compilations. The platform itself just isn’t for me, which is fine because it’s not targeted toward me. However, I can still appreciate what it is that Nintendo is trying to do. They are making leaps toward changing the way that we interact with our videogames. I respect that. But based on the reviews I’ve seen, the Wii Fit software is not really a video game at all. It is an exercise regimen. If you’re looking for a fun with the Wii Balance Board, which seems to be the real star of the package, you may want to wait for more games that are designed for it. In addition, you may want to hope that the forthcoming games don’t suck.

I found this video over on Ctrl-Alt-Del this morning (thanks), but they previewed this game in Game Informer last month. It’s called Mirror’s Edge and it looks pretty incredible. The gameplay is first-person and mostly platform-oriented. Combat will focus on hand to hand, with some gunplay thrown in. The story takes place in the not-too-distant future in an Orwellian society where the media are controlled by the government. This has resulted in a new workforce of information runners who, for a fee, will deliver information between anti-government groups. In order to avoid security forces, they take to the rooftops and travel underground. Watch the video below for a taste.

I mentioned Megan Meier’s tragic story a while ago. As it turns out, the mother who duped the young girl by pretending to be a boy around her age and then sent viscious messages to her on MySpace has been brought up on charges. Megan later committed suicide.

Let’s hope for great justice…

So, I’ve gone on and on about why the Wii is actually really lame and not worth the investment for anyone who’s taste in games extends beyond mini-game compilations.

It’s been a while since I checked up on the Wii’s top rated games over at Gamespot, which I originally referenced in a previous post. But, it’s been a while. So, I thought I’d pop back over and see if the Wii has redeemed itself, at least in terms of software library.

Short Answer: No.

Long answer: Seven of the 10 highest-rated games are still first party titles. It only futher proves my point that the only company that’s not making mediocre titles, if not downright shovelware, for the system is Nintendo. This has been a problem with every Nintendo system post-SNES. I suppose top-notch third-party support doesn’t matter to the average Wii player. However, it matters to the core gamers (or, it should).

Moreover, three of those seven titles aren’t even Nintendo Wii games in the true sense - they’re games from other Nintendo systems made available via the Virtual Console: Paper Mario (N64), Super Mario Bros. 3 (NES) and The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (N64). It’s pretty sad when you have to rely on titles that are a decade old to fill the top 10. Expand the number out to the 50 top-rated Wii games on the site, and half of the games are Virtual Console titles previously released on other systems.

Speaking of ports, I find it noteable that of the three top 10 third-party titles on the Wii, two were previously released on other systems. Okami (PS2) and Resident Evil 4 (GameCube) were highly rated on their original systems, but were ported to the Wii to take advantage of the motion controls. The only exclusive, non-Nintendo game in the Top Ten is No More Heroes the admittedly innovative action game from developer Grasshopper.

My point here is that the shabby software library available to Wii users doesn’t justify the unholy number of units Nintendo has sold. People DO love a gimmick, I suppose…

I never thought I’d say this… but a Gamestop employee really impressed me this weekend.

I know, I know. I constantly rag on the retail game shop for their unethical practices regarding trade-ins and the resale of used games. And they’ve still got millions of gallons of virtual blood on their hands for those things, as far as I’m concerned. But I actually witnessed a valorous act on the part of a Gamestop employee, and I was so moved by it, I feel compelled to share it with all of you.

I stopped into the Gamestop location on the 3rd floor of the Mall of America on Saturday to pick up Grand Theft Auto IV. My buddy Nick recently purchased the game for PS3, and I’ve been getting burned out on CoD4 lately. Besides, even if the review scores are inflated, I haven’t played a game in the franchise since GTA III, so I was curious to see what if it lived up to the hype at all. More on that later…

Anywho, I was browsing around in the store, still debating in my head whether I really wanted to buy the game, when I overheard a conversation taking place at the register. A father had come into the store with his four kids, ranged maybe 6 to 16, and he was going to purchase GTAIV, presumably for his older boys. Not so uncommon. In fact, it supports the statistics that most parents are with their kids when they buy video games.

What was incredible to me, though, was that the guy manning the register actually told the customer about all of the violent, sexual and drug-related gameplay elements. He even talked about soliciting “ladies of the night” as tactfully as he could, considering all of the small children walking around. He explained that some of the adult content was optional, but that all-in-all, the game was made for adults, hence the rating. The guy essentially spent a good 7-8 minutes explaining all the reasons the dad shouldn’t buy this game for his kids. He was willing to sacrifice the sale so that the parent could make an informed decision.

I was really proud to be a gamer at that moment.

The father ended up buying the game anyway. I really wanted to shake him and tell him that the opening scenes of the game involve a dominatrix whipping the shit out of a Russian guy standing around in his underwear. THE. GAME. IS. FOR. ADULTS. DUMMY. That’s why it’s rated “M - For Mature.” And even if your 16 year-old is mature enough to handle it, chances are it’s not appropriate for his younger siblings, who will inevitably see it.

I didn’t. Maybe I should have, but I didn’t feel it was my place. In the end, they’re his children. As their parent it is his right and responsibility to decide what media they are or are not allowed to consume. That’s how it’s supposed to work. And the parent already made the decision to buy the game in spite of the detailed description the Gamestop guy gave him. Even as he was handing the game over the counter though, the clerk was encouraging the parent to go online, read some reviews and watch some gameplay videos. Then he could decide whether to give it to the kids, or bring it back unopened for a full refund.

After the dad walked out of the store I approached the counter with my copy of GTAIV. He jokingly started to launch into the same speech about the adult content. I made a point to tell him how much I appreciated what he’d just done. He then proceeded to annoy me with a story regarding his nephew and the same game, which I wasn’t able to follow due to his incoherent storytelling and the fact he was spitting all over the place.

You win some, you lose some, I guess.

Overall though, the experience was a win for me and for gamers everywhere. I wish Jack Thompson had been present, just so I could rub it in his face. The dad was given every opportunity not to purchase a game for his children very obviously made for adults. Rockstar and the ESRB put the rating on the box, along with some details of what garnered the game that rating. He could have just read it. Then the clerk reads it for him and gives him a detailed description of what to expect. By the way, it was clear the dad hadn’t read the box at all before he stepped up to the register by his reaction when the clerk first started explaining the content to him. Then, he bought the thing anyway, even though he obviously has reservations about it.

What else do you expect from the industry’s end? Seriously?

On a related note, my first impressions of the game are as follows:

GTAIV kicks all kinds of ass. Yes, it is just another GTA game. But I haven’t played one seriously since GTAIII. It has done an amazing job of drawing me in, i.e., hours pass and I don’t notice. The environments are great, the dialogue makes me smile or laugh out loud on a regular basis, and the combat and driving are pretty well executed. Rockstar aimed to create a living breathing city, and I think they’ve succeeded. Plus, the character development is pretty outstanding. I immediately felt a connection with the main character Niko. This was the first time I’d dropped into a GTA game and not felt immediately compelled to hijack someone, kill them with their own vehicle and immediately troll for a hooker. I think it’s because I don’t think that’s what Niko would really want. I think he really does want a fresh start for himself.

Maybe it’s also a sign that I’m 5 years older than I was the last time I played a GTA game. Though, I doubt it, considering the havoc I would wreak playing Crackdown. Anyway, I’m really excited about playing the game more over the coming months. It especially helps mitigate the symptoms of “no-new-games-worth-playing syndrome” I think we’ve all been feeling since the beginning of the year. More on the game as I experience it.

PS: My favorite quote from the game so far was a yokel saying something to the effect of ”How my supposed to feed my kids, buy Pay Per View wrestling, and get a sandwich when weed costs so damn much!?” Again, not for kids.

Just so you all know, I am on Twitter now. My username is pure_drivel. Look me up!